Sometimes finding that special person is not merely a matter of searching, it is understanding who you are looking for and why. Many individuals repeat problematic patterns in selecting a romantic partner. Consequently, the Valenti team of doctors commonly selects individuals for introduction who might never have chosen one another on their own. This presents obvious conflict, but simultaneously creates opportunity for a new experience.
“Opposites attract,” perhaps, yet similarity may be a component to longevity in a relationship. Understanding why you are attracted to a particular type of person can be complicated. Many are doomed to repeat troubled patterns of poor choices, affairs, or financially destructive relationships—the mistake may be discovered only after years of a person’s life have vanished.
As an ethical and morally responsible organization Valenti International makes no promises or assurances and in fact the psychological team is likely to select a “match” that appears juxtaposed to a client's most obvious wants. The marked difference in this service is that people who are truly ready for a committed relationship are asked to turn over the selection process to the psychologists; the results are often challenging to all involved but with hope for a new experience.
What you want, may be markedly different than what you need. “Look to your past for the answer,” says chief psychologist Dr. Jason Camu. A functional combination between wants and needs can lead to a fulfilling relationship. Thus, clients of Valenti International are asked to make a difficult choice. The client peers at his or her own limitations, insecurity, and weakness while the team of doctors carefully select an individual based on complementary character make-up. For example, the stereotypic shy and reticent scientist may be paired best not in similarity but difference; a vivacious yet supportive woman who helps him grow and feel socially competent.
Suitability can be elusive for some and may even seem impossible because they fail to understand why patterns are repeated or to whom they are best paired. Listening to a client’s wants is just one piece. Understanding the genesis of those wants and what they represent is listening at an entire differently level of depth.
Matchmaking is the process of introducing two individuals that might develop a romantic, loving, and collaborative partnership—not simply using a criteria as expressed in a questionnaire. For example, what of the woman who specifies 34-38 years of age, only to find the love of her life is actually 39 years of age. A primary reason people come to us is because they have been unsuccessful in selecting their own partner. We rely on psychologists to help best define what that person needs from a relationship.
Dr. Jason N. Camu, Chief Psychologist, Valenti International
